i've always been a bit of a rebel........when my parents sent me to a private day school.. i made sure to do everything wrong until they were so fed up with me they kicked me out......
i went back to public school. and decided i wanted to get out early.... the learning wasn't vast.. i doubled up, went to summer school and graduated in my junior year.......... of course i had to go back with a smirk to the private school and let them know.. i was hardly a failure. i had good grades, graduated early despite failing everything there to be removed... honestly , i didn't even like the concept private school.. though i understand it on all levels..
when the crowds went this way.. chose one path... starting in my teens i was always pushing the boundaries wanting to go the other direction....i just never felt i belonged with the masses....i had friends... but my calling was always a bit variant.... like many people i have in my life now some were like that back then.... and my son definitely carving his own path
call it the road less travelled.. the long and winding road..... but when i often feel most centered is when i'm following my gut.. my instinct..... i love the anecdotal interractions of life .. the spider web that is formed.. connecting us to one another .. no boundaries...no walls
while some are getting older....thinking about the later years ..settling down....... me i dream and wonder about the possibilities... yes the realities of the day to day living to pay the bills, survive and make things plausible...
but as my wise dad always said.. work hard to take care of yourself and others. always others.... that is KEY... and i'm on it..... but you want some fruits of the vine............. meaning experiences... exposure.... new moments with others.. keep the learning and evolution growing...... and while i want that home base.. of course i do...we all do.. nothing like home amongst the memories of a life , carved out how you want... i love my home...but it isnt a life in and of itself..... I also crave the motion.... the meandering .. the wandering.. the surprises...where my heart and energy are full
right now it's just percolating as i take stock of a life.. where i have been .. what things i want to accomplish,, experience.... what communities.. what kind of love that can truly flourish in my life.........
it is time to have more courage to strike out... stop waiting for others.. and get on with it.. bc the world ain't stopping. the clock is ticking... pay attention and the next thing you know another year has gone by....
