standing still...........
one direction......... or not........i think many...... endless...
sometimes i feel frozen......like a deer in the headlights....lingering to what is known.....comfortable.....secure...... standing still...... and then peering out into the darkness......the vast unknown....... possibilities beyond my immediate vision and grasp.....but there nonetheless luring me to move forward....i am ready
at this stage of my life i’m often thinking about the path i’m taking.. which way to proceed... what i need to retain.. what i can let go of... embracing always my history, values, desires, and most of all the people and loves in my life.......
but i think coming off years of personal strife...it has a way of re-ordeing things of importance....and always leading me to find the light... joy, promise, excitement....... i just want more of that...living life as fully as i can...... there will always be struggle, and upset... things to contend with that challenge you to your very core..... but the best remedy.. antidote is to live ones life well.... with purpose and meaning...stay grounded , in the present (I’ve often been too bogged down with the past, the future..the past enriches; teaches lessons, gives clarity....... the future will unfold .. it’s the present that has to happen to lead to the future.....
this soliloguy of mine reminds me of a book that i kind of sneered at in my younger day...( Passages..Gail Sheehey.1974).. of course i was only 17 yo. but now i’m approaching .. i said : approaching.. 60..ONLY JUST 59
"The Trying 20s -- The safety of home left behind, we begin trying on life's uniforms and possible partners in search of the perfect fit.
The Catch 30s -- illusions shaken, it's time to make, break, or deepen life commitments.
The Forlorn 40s -- Dangerous years when the dreams of youth demand reassessment, men and women switch characteristics, sexual panic is common,
but the greatest opportunity for self-discovery awaits. The REFRESHED (or Resigned) 50s --BEST OF LIFE FOR THOSE WHO LET GO OF OLD ROLES AND FINE A RENEWAL OF PURPOSE
I’m not sneering now!
forward march!
